August 06, 2003
The Plumbing
We all have our first dating experiences. Some good .. Some bad.
I think we can all agree after you read the little treat I have posted below is that pedophiles are definitely cut from a certain kind of cloth.
I'm not going to give anything away, but I am sure that you will probably want to laugh, puke, and die all at the same time after reading this story.
Enjoy!
When I was 15, I met Sean. He was roughly 20 years older than me, and had just been discharged from the Army. He was handsome, polite and worldly. Well, at least to a 15-year-old kid he was. We began dating and he introduced me to certain 'rules' that I was required to follow if I wanted to stay with him. One, I was never allowed to discuss our relationship with anyone else, and two, we were under no circumstances to have sexual contact beyond kissing.
Our relationship progressed, and I came to realize that he was an absolutely miserable person. Our 'dates' consisted of the Shoney's buffet and watching Heavy Metal over and over again. As I got older, I decided that this was not a relationship that I wanted to continue. About 3 weeks before I finally broke up with him, he asked me over to his apartment. We were watching some sort of soft porn and I excused myself to use the restroom. I don't remember what I ate that day, but I know it caused a very unpleasant rumble in my stomach, and I hurried off to the bathroom.
While I was in the bathroom, Sean knocked on the door, 'Angel, the pipes are messed up again, don't flush the toilet.' Well, shit, I didn't know what else to do, so I rather shyly answered, 'Uh, Sean? Well, I already, went.' I heard him chuckle outside the door and he answered 'don't worry, I'll take care of it'. I finished my business, didn't flush, and when I came out of the bathroom. Sean went into the bathroom with a toolbox, and shut the door behind him, explaining that he didn't want any water to get on the carpet, in case the toilet overflowed. I went back to the living room, flipped the channel and watched Jerry Springer for about 20 minutes before I decided to check up on him and see if he needed any help.
I headed down the hallway, and opened the bathroom door. The first thing that hit me was the smell; it stunk like, well, shit. I looked over at Sean and saw that he had brown smeared all over the lower part of his face, and was holding in his fist the deposit that I had just made to the porcelain bank. I gagged and turned to run, but before I could get out of the door, Sean managed to open his shit covered mouth and spew out, 'Angel, I know this looks bad, I was just so curious, don't be grossed out, its natural'. I shut the door, ran out and rode the bus home.
I eventually had to go back to his house to pick up my wallet. I stood in the kitchen, frantically searching so I could get out of his apartment as soon as possible, when he approached me and leaned forward, I tried to turn my head, but apparently my reaction time isn't all that great and his lips brushed mine. That night I washed my face for a little longer than I normally do, and spent more time brushing my teeth, paying special attention to my tainted lips