May 30, 2003
Dress Up Your Pussy!
1. You need to dress a cat. And you will say to a cat together with a family. "It has changed just for a moment". [ "it being very dear" or ] You will pass pleasant one time.
2. If a family and a cat become fortunate, you will take a commemorative photo! Therefore, please photo your cat lovelily with much trouble.
3. If it finishes taking a photograph, you will make it remove clothes from a cat immediately. You will say then, without forgetting the language of gratitude to a cat. "-- be flooded -- a way -- good -- having done one's best -- ! -- "
May 28, 2003
May 27, 2003
May 25, 2003
Origami?
I have no idea what anything says on this site, but they're making sculptures out of wieners.
I cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness
I'm feeling very frisky tonight, as I haven't updated in a coon's age. Yes, you read that right. I said coon. Now fuck off and die.
Hey lookee-looky what I found for you, Krusty.
It all comes out in the wash...
How to babysit your tard. Please try this at home.
POMONA, California (AP) -- A 2-year-old girl was rescued from a locked, running washer at a coin laundry and her mother was arrested after a surveillance tape allegedly showed her putting the child into the machine, police said.
An officer smashed the window of the machine with his baton to rescue the girl, who was "submerged in water," police Sgt. Matt Stone said.
The child was unconscious when she was pulled from the washer Saturday but breathing. She was taken to a hospital where she was listed in serious condition with cuts, scrapes, bruises. She had inhaled some water but was expected to survive, Stone said.
Her mother, Erma Osborne, 35, of Pomona, California, later was arrested for investigation of child endangerment and held on $10,000 bail.
Surveillance camera footage showed that the woman placed her daughter in one washer, then removed her and placed her in a second front-loading washer, which turned on when she closed the door, Stone said.
"She wasn't drowned but she was getting there," Los Angeles County fire Capt. Dan Ramirez said.
The machine apparently locks automatically when the wash cycle begins and does not unlock until the cycle ends, Ramirez said.
Efforts by the girl's mother and bystanders to unlock the door failed.
May 12, 2003
Oregon county required to hire Klingon intepreters for mentally ill
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - Position Available: Interpreter, must be fluent in Klingon.
The language created for the Star Trek TV series and movies is one of about 55 needed by the office that treats mental health patients in metropolitan Multnomah County, Ore.
"We have to provide information in all the languages our clients speak," said Jerry Jelusich, a procurement specialist for the county Department of Human Services, which serves about 60,000 mental health clients.
Although created for works of fiction, Klingon was designed to have a consistent grammar, syntax and vocabulary.
And now Multnomah County research has found many people - and not just fans - consider it a complete language.
"There are some cases where we've had mental health patients where this was all they would speak," said the county's purchasing administrator, Franna Hathaway.
County officials said that obligates them to respond with a Klingon-English interpreter, putting the language of starship Enterprise officer Worf and other Klingon characters on a par with common languages such as Russian and Vietnamese and less common tongues including Dari and Tongan.
May 07, 2003
May 06, 2003
Don't lose your head!
Like this guy did...
A 31-year-old man sawed his head off in full view of staff and customers at a supermarket in Richards Bay, northern KwaZulu-Natal, on Monday afternoon, police said.
Superintendent Jay Naiker said Emmanuel Gumbi walked into the butchery section of Shoprite branch, switched on an electric meat saw, positioned his neck near the blade and sawed off his head.
He said Gumbi did not leave a suicide note.
Naiker said Gumbi's family said they had been shocked by the incident because he never showed signs of depression. - Sapa
