September 29, 2003
CITY SAYS NO TO SUICIDE SHOW, BUT BAND SAYS YES
ST. PETERSBURG - In an effort to prohibit the band, Hell On Earth, from performing their October 4th date of the Haunted Tour, the city of St. Petersburg, in cooperation with the Florida Governors Office, have “strong-armed” venues into canceling their performance.
Due to the overwhelming response and in accordance with an oath, bandleader, BillY Tourtelo gave to his terminally ill friend, the show scheduled for October 4th will indeed take place at an undisclosed location in St. Petersburg City limits. It will be broadcast live over the internet on www.hellonearth.net. The show will include a live suicide by a terminally ill Euthanasia Society member.
BillY was quoted as saying, “This show is far more than a typical Hell On Earth performance. This is about standing up for what you believe in and I am a strong supporter of physician-assisted suicide. This performance will go on in its entirety and it will be in St. Petersburg on October 4th.”
Past band performances have included sodomizing skinned calves and blending dead rats then having fans drink the concoction.
September 27, 2003
September 25, 2003
Jesus Bonehead's Review Of Vancouver
Since Jesus wasn't kind enough to repost his epinions.com rant about Vancouver here. I am going to take care of that for him.
Thanks Jesus!
You inspire us all!
A Review Of Vancouver
By: Jesus Bonehead
Ok I've lived in Vancouver my entire life and here's the deal:
A) Homeless People
DONT GIVE THEM MONEY. Canada has a very generous welfare/rehab and low income support system. 99% of the people begging on the street are drug addicts. Some typical scams are:
the shoeless guy who stands in the rain begging for change - i see this guy all the time at stadium skytrain station drunk with shoes on.
the girls who cry and display sings begging for hostels
- some of these girls I have seen doing this scam everyday for the last five years.
In fact most of the people I see around the street I've seen around for about 10+ years back when I was a streetpunk and used to hustle for change myself.
B) OTHER BARS BESIDE GRANVILLE. ST OR
GASTOWN:
Cheap bars with eclectic crowds:
The Brickyard
The Bourbon
The Cambie
The Cobalt
The Brickhouse in chinatown
sometimes 7 ALEXANDER
Pick up local newspapers such as the 'Westender' or the 'georgia straight' anywhere downtown.
C) CRIME
- don't walk alone in Stanley park in the evening or early morning by yourself on deserted trails just like you wouldn't walk around Central Park in NYC by yourself at night.
- E. Hastings isn't that bad. Yes it is full of people with scabs all over their faces from freebasing crack cocaine all night and heroin addicts passed out in the street. I have walked through this area my entire life and nothing has ever happened to me. during the day i see Korean students walking around there all the time.
Don't walk alone at night around here and you'll be fine.
(And never ever go into any of the hotels or bars on e hastings its junkie central with like 15 people squatting in one room and shooting up meth and crack)
There are alot of afterhours in the e. end at night (not right on E. Hastings but surrounding areas like Abbot St)
D) CHINATOWN
Our chinatown rules on any china town this side of New York City. San Fran's chinatown is yuppified and completely californicated with squeaky clean trinket shops with people that speak english. Our chinatown borders E. Hastings St and is straight out of Kowloon and safe to walk around.
E) NEIGHBORHOOD BREAKDOWN
DOWNTOWN
- Robson St. / Denman St.
Pretty much where all the tourists end up. The lower half of robson is all Korean which makes for really cheap restaurants that serve up amazing food. Plus Koreans are cool and you could stay in an internet cafe all night and walk home without every once fearing for your safety at all. Every night there is a parade of scantilly clad girls in designer clothing walking the street while dudes from the suburbs cruise up and down in cars cranking EMINEM
- Granville St.
Nightclub district.. lot's of bars lot's of clubs.
Robson St/Alberni is all designer clothing while granville is skateboards/hip hop and punk. Safe at night because it's always full of people spilling out
from the bars.
- Davie St
Gay area. Lots of gaybars and cool restaurants. If you walk all the way down Davie to Denman st. you'll end up on the Beach. Bring the beer!
- Gastown
Tourista Zona maxima. Lots of tourist shops selling
canadian trinkets. Some of the better Vancouver Nightclubs like SONAR and SHINE. Most restaurants are expensive and there are alot of pan handlers.
- Seymour St
Welcome to language school central. rows of international student language schools and mini universities. Completely safe all the time.
- South Granville / Kitsilano
Welcome to yuppie heaven! Clothing stores/restaurants/bars and immaculate neighborhoods. You could probably pass out on W.4th ave with a handfull of USD and nobody would take it.
Kits / Jericho beach is pretty cool. Broadway street has alot of restaurants from Vietnamese to african.
- Marpole / S. vancouver near airport area
Cheap apartments. If you don't care about taking a 15 minute bus ride into downtown. CHEAAAAPPP apartments galore.
- Kingsway/Main st/Victoria
sketchy. alot of ghetto assed looking buildings and asian gangs at night. avoid.
- Commercial Dr.
Activist and bohemia central for vancouver. big italian/ el salvadoran/ mexican / portuguese neighborhood. always something to do here as almost every restaurant is really good. If you like soccer, come here. do NOT walk all the way down commercial dr. to hastings st. / pandora at night it is really DODGEY.
- North vancouver
nothing intresting. alot of wealthy people living in boring houses. the only saviour is the large iranian community with alot of restaurants and strange shops.
XXX OTHER SUBURBS AND AREAS XXX
- Whistler
tourist haven. everybody knows about this place.
- Surrey / Delta / Whiterock / langley
NOTHING HERE. Whalley is like a minature E. hastings except with lots of white trash mullet wearing tow truck drivers. Walking around surrey at night is fine if you want a passing car full of drunks to pick a fight with you. stay downtown the burbs suck. Although there are alot of bars and nightclubs here it is mainly highschool girls and dudes who either look like Fred Durst or are wannabe ganstas. LAME
- Richmond
this is basically little Kowloon/Hong Kong. There are BILLIONS of chinese and japanese restaurants everywhere. If you speak ZERO english you could easily get around richmond if you knew cantonese/japanese . Alot of karoke and counterstrike/internet bars here as well. Giant all asian malls here make for intresting shopping. The Airport is here also.
I hear from travellers that the best Hostel is the Cambie and the easiest place to find a temporary job is whistler/Banff. woohoo! email me if you need any info on vancouver jcrash@pimpdaddywelfare.com
BESERKER
Recommended
Yes
Best Suited For: Students
Best Time to Travel Here: Anytime
The Hand Job Machine
Again .... WTF?!?!
We are now up to 3 Japanese related posts in a row. Why not get a pocket pussy instead of this bulky machine?
September 24, 2003
Ashura - Creator of Pokemon
I was sifting through my email from the past few weeks and I came across these photos from a friend that used to work for Pokemon USA.
I guess it could be worse. He could've had a japscat fetish.
September 19, 2003
All The Ladies Love A Man With A Big Sceptre
Good evening, ladies, getlemen and potato chip bags. I'd like to take this moment to welcome everyone from the Cobalt messageboard. Ok now that that's done, let's get down to business.
I'm not a very good writer, as I'm sure all of you know, so let's just get right to it.
The sceptre! The tiara! JonB, you get an A+ for art this report card!
Jen_O_Torture attacks from Surprise!
Blackie, Vancouver's greatest bingo caller.
And I haven't forgotten that Mr. Plow was so nice as to pose for a photo. And to ruin another one.
Ani Kyd came over and joined the fun near the end of the night. When it was said and done, a good time was had by all...From what I remember.
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for....The Conan pic!
Well kiddies, that's all for now. I'll be back holding court tomorrow night for Acoustichaos. If you're in VanCity, c'mon down and you just might have as much fun as all of us. And if you're not from VanCity, you can wish that your town had a place as cool as The Cobalt.
September 17, 2003
September 02, 2003
Embedded Midi Files
Isn't embedded midi the gayest thing ever?
I am compiling my list of the most annoying midi pages ever. Hopefully I will have it up here before I fuck off next week.
Do me a favor and add your favorite midi embedded pages here.